Q&A:Cookie-Cutter Christians?

by Crystal Paine

Being a homemaker is bondage if it is your only choice. I'm not knocking being a homemaker. If someone said to me, "You HAVE to be a lawyer," I'd feel that being a lawyer is bondage too. It's not about one role being better than another - it's about whether women should have freedom of choice and equality of opportunity. I believe that being a "keeper-at-home" is not a choice, it is a God-given calling. God doesn't say "As a woman, you HAVE to stay home all day long, you can never step foot outside the house except to hang your laundry out or go to church, you must have at least 10 children, you must cook everything from scratch, you must wear jumpers, and you must make a seven-course meal for your husband every night." -Anonymous

God didn't design us to all be replica models of each other. If He did, it would be a pretty dull life - everyone getting married at the same age, marrying the same type of guy, who looked almost exactly the same, having the same number of children in the same order, living in the same type of house, eating the same type of food, homeschooling with the same type of curriculum. What a bland life!

Instead, God has a unique plan and purpose for each individual, each couple, each family. Some will marry young, some will marry old, some will never marry. Some will have many children, some will have few children, and some will have no children. Some will die old, some will die young. Some will be short, some will be tall. Some will have dark skin, some will have light skin. Instead of calling us to be cookie-cutter Christians, God has given us basic principles to live our lives by.

From my study of Scripture, here are the principles I find for women: God created women to be the "help meets" for men (Genesis 2:18). Women are to be under the authority of a man (Ephesians 5:22, Colossians 3:18, 1Timothy 2:12). Fathers and husbands are to be the heads of their household (1 Corinthians 11:3) and wives are to submit to their husbands (Ephesians 5:22).

Practically applying these principles will play out a little differently in each individual family and marriage. You have to seek the Lord, you have to seek your husband's or father's counsel and guidance.

I don't want anyone to feel as if I am telling them they should seek to be an exact replica of anything or anyone but Christ! All I can tell you is what I see clearly from Scripture. There are basic God-given roles for men and women and principles for how we should live our lives as Christians. We should be seeking to do all we can to fulfill these roles. We should be raising our children to embrace their God-given roles.

Instead, much of time it seems the opposite is happening. We try to push and shove against God-given roles. We try to squeeze a Bible verse or two or three into our presuppositional box. We try to do things our way. We make our plans and then quickly ask God to bless them.

We need to be earnestly seeking the Lord for how He would have us to be living. He has a beautiful plan for your life and for my life. Each of those blueprints will look a bit different, but they will be according to the Master Plan found in Scripture. We can try to kick against principles which are laid out for us in Scripture all we want but it will only lead to a miserable life.

Following God never leads to misery! -Crystal

Crystal Paine is a 24-year-old homeschool graduate from Topeka, Kansas. She is the blessed wife of Jesse and joyful mother of Kathrynne. Visit her site, Biblical Womanhood, for books, articles, encouragement, and inspiration!

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